I See Drunk People . . . and a Dead Dictator?

Well gang, I was shocked to find that one of the top Google Hot Trend key phrases for this evening is "Haley Joel Osment DUI." Yep . . . our little Oscar-nominated 11-year old is all grown up. He's following the great, new Hollywood tradition of going out drinking and driving. He's still under age, by the way. Oh yeah . . . he also is going to be charge with misdemeanor possession of pot. I sort of feel bad for the dude. Everybody screws up when they are young. But, you take a big risk when you drive drunk.

There is also a key phrase called "Fidel Castro Dead." Basically, there is no hard news here. Just a lot of people speculating that he might be dead. Hmmm . . . weird. What would that mean for Cuba? It will be interesting to watch and see what happens.

One other interesting key phrase tonight is "ornate baboon." The story here is this jackass had an Ornate Golden Baboon Spider as a pet, and he decided he couldn't handle it anymore. So, he surrendered it to the SPCA. This bad boy has venom equal to that of a scorpion. The male can get up to five inches in length while females can reach eight inches. The SPCA representative characterizes the Ornate Golden Baboon Spider as "nasty" and says "it would bite you just to bite you." What the heck did this person think he was going to do with this thing? Holy crap! At least he didn't just release it. They can live for over a decade.

OK. That's my blah blah blah for today. Have a great night!

All I Have to Say is Big Whoop about These Hot Trends

Source: WikipediaOK. It's 9:20 PM on August 16, 2007. The top, most volcanic key phrase in Hot Trends is "Henry Hager" followed by "Jenna Bush." Here's the scoop:

They are getting married.

Big whoopee ding dong! He's the son of a prominent Republican. She's the daughter of a Republican president. Why does everybody give such a crap? If she were marrying a relative of Sadam Hussein or the offspring of the president of Iran, well . . . that would be pretty darn interesting. Heck, if she were marrying William or Harry and in line for Queen of England, that might be interesting. If she were going gay and entering a civil union with Chelsea Clinton, that would be a bombshell (I am not saying that being gay is bad, and I am not saying that either of these ladies are gay -- just saying that this would be bigger news). For fudge sake! Who cares about this type of engagement beyond family and friends. It's not like this union will bring together two countries or prevent war. I mean, I wish them luck, but I don't know them. I could have lived another day without knowing they are engaged. Why is this such big news?

Hurricane Dean, which is going to mess up some peoples somewhere along it's path, rates a measly 13 in the top 20. So, it's more interesting to know about this engagement story that has virtually no impact on the world at large than it is to know more about where this hurricane is going and who may get screwed by it.

Interesting.

Let's all say a prayer for anyone in the hurricane's path, and continue praying for them until it is over. We can give a shout out to the happy couple, too, but let's get our priorities straight on what's really news.

Cone of Doom

Source: WikipediaI don't want to write much tonight. Just about this . . . it's Cone of Doom time again. That super-fun time again to be a Floridian (or any other citizen of a state prone to hurricanes).

Dean, Dean the storm machine is heading toward the Lesser Antilles now. That's gotta suck for those guys. Might even make a fella or a gal think about moving to another locale. This storm is predicted, last I heard, to become a category 4. The Cone of Doom indicates that the storm will probably stay away from Florida, though. So, I'm relieved, but then all those poor folks in Mexico might be creamed.

When will we finally be able to control the weather? When will the Weather Channel start using my phrase "Cone of Doom" instead of Cone of whatever they call it now. You know what I'm talking about, right? That cone of uncertainty in the forecast track for a hurricane or tropical storm.

OK. Peace out peeps.

Phil Rizzuto

Sad note on today's Google Hot Trends. A "spicy" key phrase being searched today is "Phil Rizzuto."

Mr. Rizzuto, a Hall of Fame Yankees shortstop died late Monday night due to complications from pneumonia. Now, when I think of Phil Rizzuto, I don't think of the New York Yankees. And, any thoughts of baseball are secondary. These are the things I will remember about Phil Rizzuto:

• "The Pothole" episode of Seinfeld: In this episode, George Costanza is working for the New York Yankees. To celebrate Phil Rizzuto's induction into the Hall of Fame, George Steinbrenner gives everyone in the Yankees organization a Phil Rizzuto key chain that says "Holy Cow!" every time you squeezed his head. It was funny.
• "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf: I linked to the audio of Mr. Rizzuto doing the broadcast. If you have never heard the song, the basic gist is this teenage dude trying to convince his girlfriend to go all the way. Rizzuto narrates the guy getting to each base. It's pretty funny. I have heard that he was unaware of the intended use and double entendre of his broadcast.

Don't let my memories of Phil Rizzuto sully his accomplishments. You don't make the Baseball Hall of Fame for being a ding dong, I assume. I am not a big sports fan, so I don't know that for sure. But, I am pretty sure you have to have been pretty good to get in there.

RIP Phil!

I'm Scared

I dread going to the oncologist today.  I know my biopsy is going to hurt, and I just feel all this dread bubbling up inside me.  I don't think my cancer is back, but I don't know that for sure.  I hate these quarterly visits.  You spend life in remission feeling fine until that biopsy day comes up.  @!#$!$#%!@#$!@#

I am sure I will be fine.  Just say a prayer for me anyway.

It's Monday . . . Give Me a Break

I am tired, and I have a headache. So, I just don't feel much like typing a bunch of BS about things. I do have a couple of comments about one of the "volcanic" Google Hot Trend key phrases: Mary Louise Parker. So, here's the deal . . .

. . . umm, her show is coming back on Showtime and she's afraid of snakes but posed naked with one to promote her show. Big whoop! What the hell does a snake have to do with her show anyway? Admittedly, I don't watch it. I don't even have anything beyond basic cable (GASP! I know. It's a recent development, and I am experiencing only mild withdrawal).

Really, though . . . what's with the snake? Is it some allusion to the Garden of Eden where Eve was deceived by a serpent? Are we taking pity on poor Mary Louise's character: was this character deceived into thinking selling pot would give her the good life?

I don't know. I do know that I am cranky and tired. I have my quarterly big C biopsy tomorrow. That's probably part of my crankiness. I know it's going to be uncomfortable physically, and the psychological discomfort of waiting for the results is never fun. Say a prayer, send me some good vibes. Help me have a better attitude! I should be thankful to have had almost a full year in remission since my cancer treatment. And thankful that I haven't had to pose naked with a snake.

Man, I am rambling. I am going to bed. Goodnight peeps.